Christmirth Gifts

Yup. You read that correctly. It’s Christmirth gifts that I got. One week of Christmas gifts and seven days later I got birthday gifts. I just made that up with my stellar intelligence that I possess. Be jealous…or keep quiet due to copyright issues if you’ve read this before.

So I got a few things here and there for Christmas, but the most awesome things I got are related to this blog, so I thought I would share.

My husband sees me go in and out of stores every week wanting terribly to buy certain things for myself, and I just can never bring myself to do it. I have a serious issue with feeling like I am worth that money that is spent on something that I want, and not simply absolutely need it. I have always been this way, and am working on the desire to feel worth buying myself something with my personal cash just because I want it, and not because I have to.

That being said, My husband and my mother in law set out on a journey to conspire together to get me something that I have wanted for a very long time now to go with our Wii system….

My mother in law got this for me for Christmas and I almost jumped out of my seat after I unwrapped it!

My husband got these for me for my birthday!

SOOOOO AWESOME!!!!!!!!

I have not even begun any programs on either of my workouts, because it is a heavy work week, and I have actually been going to the gym. So I will have to let you guys know how awesome they are this weekend! Anyway, I was so delighted and overjoyed.

My husband made this birthday the best birthday I have ever had. I do not have awesome childhood birthday party memories or even any adult parties to speak of that were particulary awesome and memorable. He didn’t do anything in particular like a party, but he just made sure that I knew that it was completely my day to be happy and celebrate my birth with him and his family. It was awesome. I felt so amazing, and better than I had in a good long while.
Friday for New Year’s Eve, we went to see the Christmas exhibit in the city, had Mexican for lunch and then went to the casino for a dinner buffet & the countdown (courtesy of his VIP Aunt, yes I know, I know…VIP…I keep my comments to myself).

 

Saturday we went out to breakfast at our favorite place with his cousins, and get this: the waitress didn’t sing that obnoxious version of Happy Birthday, clap loudly, dance on the tables, or whatever the heck they do….she gave me a hug. It was priceless. 

We then spent the evening with his parents playing taboo, watching movies and eating my awesome birthday cake! 

 

I don’t know how to really express how amazing I felt that they went through all the trouble to make me feel special. I just felt so blessed, and quite honestly it pretty much wiped away all the Christmas misery that I had.

Best. Birthday. Ever.

Thanks for reading,

  Monique

Holi-“daze”….

Hey Friends,

So let me start this off by saying that this is not a happy post. Flowers, cupcakes and sunshine will not be found here today, but I have to get it out. Sometimes just expressing something makes it easier to deal with than holding it in and letting it fester.

First of all, I believe that Christmas is a day that has been set aside to acknowledge & celebrate the birth of Jesus. I get that, go to Christmas service, the whole beautiful shebang. I love it.

However, when you work in RETAIL as I have for the past 11 years, the meaning slides further and further into the background and psychotic ridiculousness takes center stage….

How much is this? Is this toy half off yet? How do I know if this light string works? Why won’t my coupon work? Why can’t I use a check to purchase a visa gift card? You’re an idiot and you should not be in business. I don’t care if you’re sorry, fix my problem. Can I talk to the manager? (I am the manager…) Oh really….can I talk to YOUR manager? Can I have the corporate headquarters phone number?

Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, bleepity blah, blah. 

It seriously wears your spirit down to nothing. I am by no means saying that this is not a regular occurrence when working in retail, because it is. Christmas time however, brings out the special crazy juices oozing & flowing from people. It is the truth. I hate it. It sucks. This is the time when I feel most like “a paycheck is just a paycheck”….and it most certainly is.

Christmas time also reminds me how old I am getting. My birthday is January 1st, and I am never happy about it. I have obvious personal reasons as to why I am never happy about it. The main is my getting closer and closer to 30, and still not having achieved so many things that my little internal child wants to achieve. I just want so badly to be away from my awful job, get finished with my friggin degree finally, buy a house…you know, all that super awesome grown up stuff! It’s just depressing that life keeps getting in the way, or I never have been able to complete what I have set out to achieve. And as people are setting their New Years Resolutions, I am dreading the adding of yet another 1 to my age, having not a whole bunch to show for it.

Truth be told, the past 3 years emotionally have been pretty amazing. Someday I will go into the lengthy story of why that is. In short, my husband is my greatest blessing by a mile, and has set the stage for a calmer, happier and more peaceful life in which to make my goals more easier to accomplish. Hopefully this year will be my best yet!!!!

The other thing that makes the holidays so awful for me is obviously the fact that I don’t have any children to share it with. This ache in my heart is always there every single year (even before I got married, worse when I was diagnosed with PCOS) wishing that I was buying toys for my little one, instead of an army load of nieces, nephews and cousins. I can’t speak for everyone, since I don’t have kids, but I must say that there is something about the magic of children on Christmas day.

I want to bake cookies with my daughter, play with my son and his new tonka trucks, feel that warm feeling deep down in my belly watching my husband put together dollhouse and train sets, make pancakes in the kitchen while they play in the living room with their new toys, watch my kids up front during the church service on Christmas Eve sing about Jesus in His manger, taking tons of pictures and crying the whole time, get the customary school personally made ornament for the tree, and simply watch their faces light up with joy upon revealing what each box holds.

Man….that was tough to type…

Someday, someday, someday…

This year was particularly hard because it just seemed like everyone was pregnant or had just given birth. So I opted to hide out at home alone until my overnight shift started instead of going to the extended family’s gathering. I just couldn’t deal. Not sure if that makes me a bad person, but it sure made everything so much more pleasant for me by simply waiting until it was over.


In the end, I decided that I need to make the most of the true meaning behind Christmas and focus on that. I need to focus on making what I do have just a little bit brighter for next year.

It was fine, but truly, I am glad that it’s over for another year.


Thanks for reading,

    Monique

Happy New Year and Happy Birthday to me!

Hey Friends,
Long time not chat, huh? Well, as was said in my last post, I was having a little rougher time dealing with the holidays than I expected. I just simply had to get them out of the way, focusing on the meaning behind them rather than what I want them to be, and forging ahead.
I have been doing pretty good with my eating habits, and semi decent on my workouts. I must admit, back a few weeks ago when I had decided that I was ready to change my mediocre weight loss progress into something awesome, I failed to be realistic about the  holidays that were sure to come no matter what my plan. I did ok, skipped some outings, picked and chose which ones were important, and had an amazing and carefree time on my birthday (which was Saturday, in case you didn’t know).

This week I plan to recap the past few weeks for you guys including:

• what made the holidays so hard for me…
• the awesome things I got for Christmas
• the EVEN MORE awesome things I got for my birthday seven days later
• how I had the best birthday I have ever had this year
• how I did on my chart that I started about a month ago
• where I am at emotionally with some stuff in my life about my weigh loss.
• how I want to help support all of you in your weight loss goals, and start some accountability chains

I really have to get you guys caught up before my Spring semester starts next Monday! Then I will be able to post regularly about twice a week. I have a plan!

For awhile, my blog may seem mostly like a weight loss (and sometimes food) blog, and for awhile, it sort of will be. This is just what I am choosing to focus on more right now in my life.

Also, if you have noticed Finding the Courage to Change got a HUGE facelift! I have also been spending my time (A LOT OF TIME) working on this. I really needed a better place to keep track of my workouts and such to help me stay focused. Please take some time to look around, and comment if you want to know more about something. Stop by and say hello! :-)

Thanks for reading,
  Monique