What's on My Mind....

Hello There,

So here's the thing. I got this blog going, and really started to love it a lot. Took pics of my food, wrote posts, and even made a few blog friends along the way. The problem came when I quickly realized that I was not blogging at all about what was truly on my mind. I was blogging about what I thought people wanted to read, as well as focusing on this being a food blog. I stopped blogging because what I was blogging about was not fun anymore. It became more work than a hobby, and I am just not into having a second job at the moment....quite frankly ever again. Food blogs are simply beautiful. NOT when you are trying to lose weight....and you're me. I really need to refocus and decide whether or not this blog should continue as is and change the focus, or start fresh and be myself. I have since ended my posting, and found out that there are numerous kinds of blogs out there. Obviously I did not know this, seeing how food blogs were the first that I came across. I really need to lose this 50 or 60 pounds and I am doing a terrible job at it. I need to find people also who are struggling with PCOS as well. I need to blog about it and document my progress for me. HOWEVER...I was attracting a crowd of people that were simply blogging about their already current status as healthy eaters, and were already who only lost like 20 pounds or so. No offense, but those just make it look so kind easy (which obviously it is not...usually for anyone) It's awesome to have those people as support and friend types, too, to see that it is at least possible to be thinner and on the healthy range of charts (yes sometimes I feel the opposite) So don't get me wrong. Maybe I am just feeling crazy today or needy. Because obviously nobody can lose this weight for me. I need tips from people that have lost a significant amount of weight who get to this point where they feel like they simply do not want to continue because the rest seems so huge and daunting. Badly.

I also quit posting because I simply need people that I do not know who are not near to be my support. That's how I am. I kinda don't want to be found by those near me. I haven't found that helpful at all really. Only negative comments and nobody in my boat. My husband really is SO supportive, but he has his own friends and his own journey (which he is doing amazing on)

I need an outlet.

I need to be able to just release my thoughts and push the publish button and not care about what others think of it.

I need to not be afraid of cyber bullying and negative comments....because yes, I indeed am.

I need some blog friends, feel like I have lost the few I made because I stopped blogging.

Cuz right now, I am feeling pretty alone. And that's the raw truth.